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3 Things I Wish I Knew About Letting Go

Jul 27, 2021

One of the outcomes of getting my sh*t together, has been the return of a good night sleep!  Not too long ago, I slept horribly. I didn't go to bed until 11 or 12:00 at night, slept for a couple of hours, would wake up restless and unable to return to sleep for a couple of hours and then fall hard about an hour before I had to get out of bed. Lack of good sleep over a period of time, as you probably know from your own experience, can begin to chip away at our well being.

Wow! Have things changed. Now I sleep 8 solid hours and I sleep hard.

So when Anne nudged me, twice, and called my name, it took me a bit to wake up.

"Did you hear that?" she asked.

Turns out, a plant had fallen from a suspended shelf in the kitchen, smashed onto the countertop and tumbled to the floor leaving potting soil and jade plant debris all over the kitchen. We checked it out and decided to leave clean up until morning.

Wait. What?  Decided to leave clean up until morning?

THIS decision, my friend, is how I strengthen my "letting go" muscle because it doesn't come naturally to me!

In my experience, and in that of most of my coaching clients, letting go sounds so simple, but in practice is one of the most difficult things to DO.

When we think about the physical act of letting something go, we simply lessen our grip and it falls away with very little effort at all. Easy enough.

The emotional practice of letting go is far more challenging and requires tremendous effort.

I remember working with a therapist around the time of my divorce and I recognized that my relationship with my ex was created and nurtured by trauma, dysfunction and me continually making myself small so as not to cause turbulence in his life.

I wanted to let go. I needed to in order to heal and grow and not repeat this shit again!

Here's what I wish I knew before I began the process of letting go:

  1. It's going to hurt like a mother f*cker. The emotional pain of letting go will drop into your body and sit there like it owns you.

  2. It takes a long time...maybe forever - so strengthen your "letting go" muscle with smaller, less emotional things.

  3. Just when you want to surrender, push through harder. The bigger the push, the greater the power when you kick its ass!

The mistake we make when we want to let go is not being prepared for the battle  - the emotional one. And there are no short cuts in getting our shit together. No tiptoeing around the obvious. No hanging on to shit that has weighed us down long enough.

In the past, cleaning up that mess in the kitchen would have been absolutely necessary before I could go back to bed for the rest of the night. What about you?  Are there things in the night that are keeping you hostage?

Keeping my "letting go" muscles in shape by practicing on the little things like a mess in the kitchen, enables me to wrestle the bigger things, the more emotional things, with greater ease.  You get it...right? The more you use a muscle, the stronger it gets.

That's true about letting go too.

When you're ready to let go, let these three things I wish I knew, help you too.

Check out this free, 15 minute training:  5 Hacks to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Letting go is Hack #1.

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